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Unfortunate Cookies

Unfortunate Cookies are original humor clips written by the editors of GAYTWOGETHER. If you would like to send your ideas to us, please email us at gaytwogether@gmail.com

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Quotes & Quips - Carlos Castaneda

Things don't change. You change your way of looking, that's all. - Carlos Castaneda

Immigration Laws Make It Impossible For Gay Couples

Immigration laws make it doubly difficult for foreign-born partners to remain in the U.S. Gary and Michael have been together for more than 29 years, but the life they've built could be undone in an instant. Gary is an illegal immigrant, and he's HIV-positive. If Gary, 47, and Michael, 60, were a man and a woman, they could marry and Gary could then apply for legal residence right away. But federal authorities don't recognize same-sex marriage. If Gary had been an illegal immigrant by 1986, he could have gained amnesty under immigration reforms enacted that year. But he was here legally until 1996, by which time changes in immigration law changes made it virtually impossible for him to remain here legally.

Neither a local House member's effort on Gary's behalf nor a bill to help couples like Gary and Michael across the country is likely to get a hearing, even in this Democrat-dominated Congress. Theirs is the immigration reform that dare not speak its name. The cost to Gary has been enormous. "My father died while I was stuck here," he said. Diagnosed with asbestos-related lung cancer, his father could no longer make an annual trip to visit Gary in the U.S., and Gary couldn't go visit him lest he be barred from returning. "My father wrote us this letter, and he underlined 'Don't even think about coming back here' because he knew it would ruin things for us if we did. "So, if we're talking family values, he certainly valued our family."

Tragic Gay Partners Case Stirs Legal Debate

Brett Conrad spent more than half his life as Patrick Atkins' partner. For 25 years, the men shared bank accounts, apartments and eventually a home in Fishers. But when Atkins, 47, fell seriously ill in 2005, Conrad faced what many gay Hoosiers consider a travesty: no law guaranteeing them the same rights as married couples to participate in care decisions for their ill partners. Conrad, 47, spent much of the past two years trying to win guardianship of Atkins from Atkins' parents, Thomas and Jeanne of Carmel. Jeanne Atkins is quoted in court documents as saying she believes homosexuality is a sin and that she disapproves of the men's relationship. The parents have barred Conrad from visiting their now-disabled son in their home where he lives. In June, Conrad won visitation rights from the Indiana Court of Appeals, but the court upheld an earlier Hamilton County ruling that left control of Atkins' care to his parents.

Gay-rights activists say the men's story illustrates the discrimination embedded in Indiana law and underscores why gay marriage should be allowed. On the other side, opponents of same-sex marriage say the case could have been prevented if Conrad and Atkins had used existing laws that can give unmarried couples -- straight and gay -- the legal right to act on each other's behalf.

Young Athletes Open Up About Being Gay

Brian Schwind (pictured) of Redding, Calif., was ostracized by high-school football and wrestling teammates after telling them he was gay. The guys in his boat took to calling him "Badger" because of the grimace he wore during races. Part of a junior rowing club that ranked among the fastest in the nation, Lucas Goodman was relentless on the water. It was a different story on land. The teenager with the powerful build and close-set eyes had to be careful. He hung back ever so slightly when teammates shot the breeze, talking about girls. "You get tired of constantly watching what you say, constantly watching how you act," he said. Goodman felt so uneasy that he finally told the Green Lake Crew his secret: He is gay.

The 18-year-old belongs to an emerging generation of openly gay and lesbian athletes on high-school and college campuses across the country. These young men and women are quietly venturing where no active pro football or baseball star has gone, challenging the conformist, if not downright homophobic, tradition of the playing fields. Their numbers are difficult to gauge because many confide only in peers. Experts chart the trend anecdotally through athletes who join gay-rights clubs at school, e-mail gay-rights advocates for advice or announce their sexual orientation on Web sites such as Facebook and MySpace.