GAYTWOGETHER

The Very Thought Of Him - July 31, 2008

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First Things First: ---- Michael's Daily Diary ---- Hidden Romance

Steven opened the bedroom glass door out to the patio. There was a large pool, one of those infinity pools.  It looked as though one side of the pool water disappeared over the side of the patio. The patio was wrapped with a clear glass fence. The view of the ocean was unobstructed.

It was getting darker, and much cooler than when I first got there.  Steven went back in the bedroom and came out wearing a jacket, he was holding one for me. Another caring moment from this great guy.

The view from his patio was breathtaking; his house was set on an ocean cliff.  From his patio you could see at least a dozen homes on either side.  Each one came alive in the dark as their evening lights were turned on.

I was in awe with the spectacular view as I followed him across the patio.  He stopped and opened part of the glass, a gate. "Let me show you something".  I followed him down a set of stairs, a landing, more stairs and one more landing.  The last set of stairs lead back into the cliff. There was a second patio, a patio that looked like it was pushed right into the mountain. And then, a moment of romantic magic, a small table set for two with dinner waiting.

The sound of the ocean, the night sky as the stars came alive, and a private dinner with the most beautiful romantic guy I had ever met.  Nothing could get better than this. At least that's what I thought, but our night together wasn't over.

Michael

The Very Thought Of Him - July 30, 2008

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First Things First: ---- Michael's Daily Diary ---- Every Word

The music, the ocean, the house, they all disappeared.  There was only his arm around me and the red pillow. There was nothing to say. I turned towards him and we kissed. It was a beautiful passionate kiss with our arms embracing each other.

We weren't letting go, not yet.  This moment, this very special moment, I want this moment forever. I held Steven even tighter and kissed him again. This time I couldn't stop the tears. They ran down my face and it felt as though they were sealing our kiss. 

All my years of sadness, all those wasted years, years that had no special moments, they were all released, they just drifted away. It was Steven, our embrace, our sealed kiss and a very special red pillow that filled my heart with one of the most beautiful moments of my life. This guy, this wonderful person was stealing my heart and I loved every moment of it.

We were still hugging, Steven spoke softly, "I loved listening to you talk last night". "I remember almost every word". He reached out to touch my face and wipe away my last couple of tears. "Michael, I couldn't wait to see you again."

I looked into his beautiful eyes. "Thank you, thank you so much." "You're so sweet, I love the pillow." "I love everything about what you did for me".  "Steven, I'm so glad I'm here with you."

The music, the ocean, the house, they were all back again, and so was his cute smile.  He took hold of my hand. "Come on, let me me show you what I really love about this house".

Michael

Part 19 - Gay Relationship Abuse - 1000 Reasons To Leave Him

I've received over 1500 emails from guys who are or have been in an abusive gay relationship.  Emails thanking me for bringing this issue front and center, thanking me for kind words, advice, hope and resources.  This column is dedicated to the guys out there, the abused partner in a verbally or physically abusive gay relationship.  One third of all gay relationships are abusive, yes one third!

"Packaging up a previous nightmare to make room for the rest of your life wasn't’t easy. "Sometimes things need to be said, and they need to be said, because you’re finally ready to say them! This is a continuing series about: "A really long relationship with a really wrong person." - Michael

91. When he takes you shopping for two new chairs for the den, and a few weeks later he has his attorney throw you out. Obviously the chairs weren’t for us.

92. When he throws you out and you have to pay for all the blood tests you have to take because you have to make sure he hasn’t given you any sexually transmitted diseases.

93. When saying "I love you" is only reserved for the latest guy he's having sex with.

94. When you have to sleep in a separate room with the door locked because you are scared of what he may do next.

95. When you find out that private details of your family are being shared with his sex partners as though it was general conversation.

Todays Advice:  "SHOUT IT OUT! - Don't Let Lies Lay!" - And do it when he least expects it, even if it's a year or two from the time he threw you out.  Let the world know the truth, what he did to you and who you really are,

I promised myself to let the process move at it’s own speed.  When I was ready, I would ship off the old crap from the relationship nightmare that my ex created for me over 18 years. I also realized part of what I needed was to make sure every person along the original route would finally know the truth whether it was via this blog, or other means. Unlike my past eighteen years with him, this would no longer be his continuous abusive surprise package.  The truth has been recently packaged on my terms because I was finally ready for everyone to know." - Michael

The Very Thought Of Him - July 29, 2008

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First Things First: ---- Michael's Daily Diary ---- Another Passion

It's not just architecture, I have a deep appreciation for art, design and as I've said before, I love music. And no, I never thought this was just part of being gay.  I know plenty of gay guys who have no passion beyond what's on television tonight, just like the jerk I used to live with.

Steven and I were in the center of the main room. It was furnished with contemporary furniture and the grey marble floor was perfect.  On one side of the room there was a large fireplace with no walls, a fireplace just coming up from the from the floor.  Some type of stainless exhaust was about ten feet above. No matter what side of the fireplace you stood, there was an unobstructed view of the room, including the ocean.

There was music, music everywhere, soft jazz, playing at a "just there" level. His dining room was very simple, a long clear glass table, high back leather chairs all framed by the ocean view. I don't know why I counted, but I remember twelve chairs. His high tech kitchen was amazing, but something was really apparent. No food was out. There was nothing cooking, and the dining room table wasn't set. Yet he had invited me for dinner.

Steven loved his home, you could hear it in his voice. You know what, it was spectacular. I was so happy for him.  I'm not sure why, but I think he felt it necessary to tell me. "I had a decorator help me", "I mean it's all my taste but she really put it together". "Actually I called her this morning for one more quick favor". "You just missed her when she dropped it off tonight".

There was a long hallway maybe eight feet wide and twenty feet long.  This was Steven's photography gallery, his hobby, another passion. I wanted to stop and study each beautiful picture, but he was already ahead of me.  There were double doors to his bedroom . His platform bed had a solid white cover and matching pillows. And there was one red pillow.  Nothing else was red in the bedroom.  Steven came over and put his arm around me.  "You told me last night that red was your favorite color."

Michael

G2G Gallery Guys - Pedro Jose Pallares Re-Visited

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The Very Thought Of Him - July 28, 2008

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First Things First: ---- Michael's Daily Diary ---- Picture Perfect

It's not like I've been out in the dating world.  I'm feeling good about myself again, but the thought of dating wasn't on my agenda.  At least not yet. 

It was only four or five months since I was dumped on the street by the a--hole.  Now I was finally starting to get out.  I mean out to the movies, out to dinner with some neighbors, anywhere I could, just get out. No it wasn't easy, I was pushing myself while everyone around me was saying, "time, time, it takes time".  I had enough, my ex had already stolen too much time from me for too long.

The gates were open to Steven's driveway and his car was parked in front of the garage.  His house was contemporary, two stories high and beautifully landscaped.  I'm an architecture freak.  You can ask me about any major building or large city and we can spend an evening. 

His front doors were brushed steel with frosted glass panels.  Steven opened the door and there was that cute smile, "Michael". I was going to hold out my hand, but I decided to hug him instead. Oh my G-d he felt so good, I wanted to hold him the rest of the night.

His foyer was five steps higher than the rest of the house.  The entire back of the room ahead had floor to ceiling wall to wall glass.  No matter where you stood, the view was all ocean. It wasn't dark yet and the contrast of the water and the evening sky was picture perfect.  Steven grabbed my arm,  "Let me show you around".