I've received over 1500 emails from guys who are or have been in an abusive gay relationship. Emails thanking me for bringing this issue front and center, thanking me for kind words, advice, hope and resources. This column is dedicated to the guys out there, the abused partner in a verbally or physically abusive gay relationship. One third of all gay relationships are abusive, yes one third!
"Packaging up a previous nightmare to make room for the rest of your life wasn't’t easy. "Sometimes things need to be said, and they need to be said, because you’re finally ready to say them! This is a continuing series about: "A really long relationship with a really wrong person." - Michael
91. When he takes you shopping for two new chairs for the den, and a few weeks later he has his attorney throw you out. Obviously the chairs weren’t for us.
92. When he throws you out and you have to pay for all the blood tests you have to take because you have to make sure he hasn’t given you any sexually transmitted diseases.
93. When saying "I love you" is only reserved for the latest guy he's having sex with.
94. When you have to sleep in a separate room with the door locked because you are scared of what he may do next.
95. When you find out that private details of your family are being shared with his sex partners as though it was general conversation.
Todays Advice: "SHOUT IT OUT! - Don't Let Lies Lay!" - And do it when he least expects it, even if it's a year or two from the time he threw you out. Let the world know the truth, what he did to you and who you really are,
I promised myself to let the process move at it’s own speed. When I was ready, I would ship off the old crap from the relationship nightmare that my ex created for me over 18 years. I also realized part of what I needed was to make sure every person along the original route would finally know the truth whether it was via this blog, or other means. Unlike my past eighteen years with him, this would no longer be his continuous abusive surprise package. The truth has been recently packaged on my terms because I was finally ready for everyone to know." - Michael
This is a my personal life for almost 18 years and my continuing series of 1000 Reasons To Leave Him. The trick is to find out before it’s too late and not to close your eyes because you are blinded by how much you love him. Don’t let him use you, take advantage of you, or isolate you. Don't let him manipulate you into staying. Don't let him wear you down so that your self-worth becomes so low you feel like you have no choices. And don’t remain silent because you’re afraid. <
You’ll find that some of my 1000 reasons are written with some sarcastic humor and most are so unbelievable that not an ounce of humor could be attached. However, they’re all based on real life, a really long relationship with a really wrong person. Trying to understand what happened may not be easy, and the recovery from a long, abusive, deceptive relationship is a difficult journey. BUT, TODAY I CAN SEE BETTER!
Putting your thoughts in print is empowering. So, read them, talk about them, or laugh or cry about them. Share them with someone you know that could possibly use them. But, I think you’ll agree, they should never happen again, not to me, not to you, and especially not to anyone that you profess to truly love.