I've received over 1500 emails from guys who are or have been in an abusive gay relationship. Emails thanking me for bringing this issue front and center, thanking me for kind words, advice, hope and resources. This column is dedicated to the guys out there, the abused partner in a verbally or physically abusive gay relationship. One third of all gay relationships are abusive, yes one third!
"Packaging up a previous nightmare to make room for the rest of your life wasn't’t easy. "Sometimes things need to be said, and they need to be said, because you’re finally ready to say them! This is a continuing series about: "A really long relationship with a really wrong person." - Michael
86. When you rather eat dinner alone because it’s the same as eating dinner with him.
87. When his mother has to go on a business trip with him because she's also worried about him picking up other guys.
88. When he convinces you to move to another city because of his great new job, when he has you give up your health insurance because you are going to be on his group plan, and when he throws you out on the street, cancels your insurance and leaves you no way to get insured because of a pre-existing condition.
89. When you realize that he has no passion for life, no passion for love and no passion for you.
90. When the only thing you can trust about him is that he will continue to lie to you.
This is a my personal life for almost 18 years and my continuing series of 1000 Reasons To Leave Him. The trick is to find out before it’s too late and not to close your eyes because you are blinded by how much you love him. Don’t let him use you, take advantage of you, or isolate you. Don't let him manipulate you into staying. Don't let him wear you down so that your self-worth becomes so low you feel like you have no choices. And don’t remain silent because you’re afraid.
Todays Advice: "You Can't Judge A Book By It's Cover" - Boy, is there a big surprise for him coming about this one.
I promised myself to let the process move at it’s own speed. When I was ready, I would ship off the old crap from the relationship nightmare that my ex created for me over 18 years. I also realized part of what I needed was to make sure every person along the original route would finally know the truth whether it was via this blog, or other means. Unlike my past eighteen years with him, this would no longer be his continuous abusive surprise package. The truth has been recently packaged on my terms because I was finally ready for everyone to know." - Michael
You’ll find that some of my 1000 reasons are written with some sarcastic humor and most are so unbelievable that not an ounce of humor could be attached. However, they’re all based on real life, a really long relationship with a really wrong person. Trying to understand what happened may not be easy, and the recovery from a long, abusive, deceptive relationship is a difficult journey. BUT, TODAY I CAN SEE BETTER!
Putting your thoughts in print is empowering. So, read them, talk about them, or laugh or cry about them. Share them with someone you know that could possibly use them. But, I think you’ll agree, they should never happen again, not to me, not to you, and especially not to anyone that you profess to truly love.