[ continued from yesterday ] Perhaps you’re home with Mr. Right and you have your first argument. Nothing too serious, but it’s hard not to feel unsettled. What’s going on here? Nurturing new relationships takes time and effort. Let’s look at two uncomfortable issues that can come up: arguments and sexual interest.
A piece of advice many couples have found works for them is: never go to bed angry. Stay with the argument until it gets resolved instead. Conflict can make you anxious when a relationship is new, but don’t shy away from speaking your mind.
Relationships where one or both partners avoid showing their true feelings in disputes with one another are relationships that aren’t going to last. See if you can let your partner express what he’s feeling upset about without getting defensive. Acknowledge that you’ve heard what he’s saying; if you think he’s right, say so. If you think he’s off base, let him know.
Understand that relationships require compromise. The optimal outcome isn’t likely to be your partner unconditionally surrendering because you’ve out-argued him; the best outcome is going to be something that leaves each of you feeling well-heard and respected, and the issue in question moved toward resolution.