GAYTWOGETHER

The Very Thought Of Him - 9/30/11

 The Very Thought Of Him Gallery

Photographer Scott Pasfield's New Book: Gay In America

  
 

Gay in America

Scott Pasfield:  One night four years ago, I became obsessed by the idea that if I could meet a gay man, couple or family from every state, photograph them and tell their stories, I could make a book that would change hearts and minds.

There is a tendency to unjustly stereotype gay men, to buy into the discounted two-dimensional presentation of gay men in the media. I wanted to meet the real gay men of America: The fathers, brothers, sons and nice guys next door-who just happen to be gay. So, I went looking for "out" America men who are living their lives without second guessing, proud of who they are, happy with where they live and willing to talk about who they are, why and how they came out and how their sexuality does-and does not-define who they are.

I photographed men of every age, religion and race. Young men, seniors, Muslims, Jews, white and black, rich, poor, anonymous and familiar. I met men dealing with the universal issues of growing up, religion, violence, immigration, marriage, parenting, family, love-but as gay men. Varied, valiant and in many cases victorious, these beautiful men are bound together in Gay in America.

I photographed DADT repeal activist Dan Choi for the cover. He is an extraordinary gay soldier who helped right a wrong that was such a source for so much hatred, and in doing so, became a true hero. When I shot him in his uniform on that snow-covered street in Cambridge, I saw a man proud of all he is and all that he has accomplished. Like every other man in the book, he just happens to be gay. Period.

Picture This Thought: When I Saw You......

 
 Picture This Thought - Gallery

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NEW GAYTWOGETHER PLUS on FaceBook:  http://ow.ly/68ko3

Gay Relationships: "If I’m So Darned Cute, Why Won’t Anyone Go Out With Me?" - Part Two

( Continued From Yesterday )

"Systemic challenges due pose potential barriers to your dating life, they only have to have power if you allow them to do so. We are not victims; growing up gay requires significant courage, perseverance, and resilience. To survive and prosper through this means we can handle anything."

Step one requires taking back personal control and refusing to allow these dating challenges and disappointments to have emotional power over you.

* Start keeping a journal and write about your dating efforts and lessons learned to watch your evolution in progress. Make a list of all the reasons why you’re a “good catch” and why it’s important to keep your head held high when things aren’t going so well. Write about the benefits of being single and what this affords you. Refer to this when you get into “funks” as a way to keep yourself motivated and centered on the positive. When you hear a quote or motivational saying that resonates with you, add this to your journal for additional affirmation and incentive.

* Since we are only in control of ourselves and cannot change other people, avoid blaming “the system” or other gay men for the current state-of-affairs as they are.It’s much more productive to focus more on yourself and dig deep to identify any potential areas where you might be contributing to difficulties. For some ideas on where to get started with this, check out my article on “Am I Mr. Right?”  and break out your journal and start writing and tackling those issues that will improve your quality-of-life.

G2G Gallery Guys - Friday's Fun

    
 G2G Gallery Guy Collection

Quotes & Quips - Frederick L. Collins

There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are."  - Frederick L. Collins

Vintage Photo Memories - Men Twogether

The Vintage Collection Of Men Twogether

The Very Thought Of Him - 9/29/11

 The Very Thought Of Him Gallery

G2G Gallery Guys: Thursday Twogether

 
 
 
G2G Gallery Guy Collection

Gay Relationships: "If I’m So Darned Cute, Why Won’t Anyone Go Out With Me?" - Part One

One of the most common concerns that come through my service from gay singles is the difficulty they speak of securing dates with quality and compatible men; and sometimes it’s even just landing a date of any kind! Invitations for sex seem more readily accessible and the frustration and disappointment is the predominant emotion experienced by these relationship-minded singles who have good heads on their shoulders and are ready and available for love, but just can’t seem to find others who mirror their desire for substance and depth in their involvements.

After a series of let-downs, it can really start messing with your sense of optimism and positive outlook. You might begin to feel jaded and develop resentments toward the whole institution of dating and the gay community, questioning whether gay relationships really can work. Worse yet, you might begin turning these attacking feelings against yourself in the form of developing beliefs that there’s something wrong or defective with you in the face of so much perceived rejection.

Ouch! Stop the madness! You cannot allow all the hard work it took for you to develop and grow yourself into the solid man that you’ve become to be tampered with by the inherent challenges of dating.