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The Very Thought Of Him - 7/31/12

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Gay Relationships: Increasing Your Capacity For Intimacy

Opening yourself to what you are feeling is an important first step towards increasing your capacity for intimacy. Take a breath. Notice what you are feeling in the moment. Learn to recognize the sensations, including the bodily sensations, which accompany emotions.

Shallow breathing may indicate anxiety, for instance. In fact, psychotherapist Fritz Perls called anxiety “excitement without the breath.” The next step towards lowering the walls and increasing the intimacy in your life is to become more comfortable with sharing your feelings with others.

Take responsibility for what you are experiencing rather than attributing it to someone else. Keep it simple and direct. Remember that emotions don’t always have to be monumental things; sharing your feelings about a piece of music or a movie you’ve just seen with a friend can be a great way to gain more experience.

If you develop greater capacity to communicate your feelings with others, you’ll soon find that people do one of two things. Some folks will reciprocate and share their feelings. Others will not, and may even feel uncomfortable with your “opening up.” Don’t allow others’ responses to put you off-track.

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Quotes & Quips - Finding That Person

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Vintage Photo Memories - Men Twogether

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The Very Thought Of Him - 7/30/12

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Gay Relationships: Are You Lost In Love?

Relationships are a dance in which sometimes one person leads and sometimes the other does. The dance can be awkward – especially if you are first learning the steps or when you have a new dance partner.  Perhaps your partner crowds you and steps on your toes, or maybe he bobs and weaves and makes you dizzy. Often, however, we feel pulled in different directions at the same time. One pull is towards growing closer to the beloved.

Western religious marriage rites celebrate the idea of “the two becoming one flesh.”  The other pull is towards safety and independence, and it can be just as powerful as this urge to merge. We fear being engulfed by the other, becoming lost in love. Both of these urges are normal and understandable. If you had no desire to mesh with your partner, you might as well be roommates. But healthy relationships allow each partner to maintain his identity, distinct from the shared identity as a couple.

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Quotes & Quips - Extraordinary

Sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary,
simply by doing them with the right people.
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