GAYTWOGETHER: Posts from August 2012

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The Very Thought Of Him - 8/31/12

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August 31, 2012 in The Very Thought Of Him | Permalink | Comments (0)

Gay Relationships: “Should We Have Sex Yet? Negotiating Your First Time With Mr. Wonderful” - Part Two

( continued from yesterday )

The Sexual Floodgates Are Opening! - So you and Mr. Wonderful are now at the stage where the chemistry is bubbling over and you can’t keep your hands off each other. You’ve gone out at least several times and the compatibility you share seems to be indicating a “green light.” Before racing off to the bedroom (or other creative carnal lovemaking spot!), ask yourself these questions to avoid getting hurt and to make sure this is the right time for you to get naked:

• Why do we want to have sex now? What are our motives?

• Do I feel physically and emotionally safe with him? Am I able to be vulnerable with him with my body and emotions?

• Do I feel cared about by him? Does he show genuine interest and curiosity about me in other areas of my life other than sex? Does he respond to me non-sexually?

• Am I able to be myself freely around him? Do I feel good about myself when I’m around him? Do I like the man that he is from what I’ve learned about him so far?

• Are we able to communicate openly with each other? Have we each engaged in enough self-disclosure to feel comfortable about each other? Have we been able to express affection to each other thus far?

• Does he demonstrate dependability and loyalty? Do I feel like a priority? Do we have mutual respect and support?

Continue reading "Gay Relationships: “Should We Have Sex Yet? Negotiating Your First Time With Mr. Wonderful” - Part Two" »

August 31, 2012 in Advice, Dating, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, Gay Relationships, Gaytwogether Couples, Relationships, Single Gay Lifestyle , Waiting / Dating / Mating | Permalink | Comments (0)

Gay Relationships: “Should We Have Sex Yet? Negotiating Your First Time With Mr. Wonderful” - Part One

Introduction - Question: At what point does a dating relationship turn sexual if you’re looking for a lasting relationship?

The reader posing this question goes on to say that in his experience, sex too soon in a dating relationship seemed to make the connection all about sex, while waiting for an extended period of time resulted in men perceiving him as a “tease” or being uninterested in them for anything but just friendship.

So what’s a guy to do? When is the right time to have sex so as not to sabotage the development of a potentially healthy relationship with a compatible dating prospect? Well, the long and the short of it is that there is no right time! There’s no science or magic formula to negotiating the right time to be sexual to guarantee lasting success. There are no guarantees in relationships. What it boils down to is each individual’s readiness and comfort level with taking things to that next step and keeping the channels of communication open.

So while there’s no hard-fast rule, this article will offer some tips and questions for reflection for you to decide when the time is right for you to take things to the “bedroom level.” Through this content, perhaps you will discover some factors that might promote the opportunity for success of a long-term relationship that you can integrate into your own dating plan and sexual decision-making practices.