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The Very Thought Of Him

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Gay Relationships: Validate Your Way To Bliss

Over the years, I’ve had slews of couples come through my office with a variety of presenting issues that range anywhere from communication breakdowns, to sexual dysfunctions, to infidelities, to diminished passion, etc. These only name but a few, but the common denominator that appears pervasive throughout most relationship difficulties is a climate of tension, resentment, and mistrust that results when the partners don’t feel acknowledged or honored by each other. This can erode the foundation that the relationship is built upon and jeopardizes the love, closeness, and attachment the couple had developed. Mayday! Mayday! Relationship rescue is now needed!

The interpersonal skill of validation is one technique that can help enrich any relationship and is a great tool for solidifying emotional bonds and fostering more intimacy between loving partners. This article will explore the concept of validation and offer suggestions for incorporating more of it with your partner to promote more heightened “relationship bliss.”

What Is Validation?  In the initial stages of dating, it’s not too difficult to validate each other. This “honeymoon phase” of relationship development is depicted by high chemistry, thinking about each other all the time and wanting to devote energy to being with one another. You feel excited and boosted by the other’s attraction for you and attention. It requires very little effort and is usually described as a “magical” feeling. Over time, however, this “spark” tends to diminish and is a normal sign of the maturing of the relationship, not necessarily a signal that something is wrong.

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The Very Thought Of Him

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Gay Relationships: Fantasies And Fun Sex

Jack and Matt are both buttoned-down businessmen and have been together for ten years. They’ve been inseparable since Jack picked Matt up one night after cruising him for hours at the dance bar they frequent. The seduction was hot: eye contact led to physical contact, then making out in a dark corner before heading to John’s apartment. It was such a trigger for them that they recreate it several times a year.

One of them gets to the club and buys a drink and waits. The other arrives soon after.The y begin a seduction in full view of the other patrons of the bar. They get all over one another, enjoying the attention they attract – who have no idea that this game is one these guys have been acting out for years. These guys have found that erotic games and role-playing can be great ways to juice up their sex life.

We all play roles. A role is a just pattern of behavior we act out in exchanges with others. Roles involve playing parts or conducting yourself in certain ways. We do this all the time at work, with relatives and in other situations – usually without even thinking about it. Sometimes, though, roles are conscious. We chose a role because we have found it turns us on, or it turns on our partners.

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