( Continued from yesterday ) - here's the next five characteristics common to the profile of a successful gay dater.
5. He has addressed any issues pertaining to internalized homophobia, feels a sense of acceptance and pride with being gay, and has overcome a lot of the gay stereotypes and myths that abound about gay men and dating.
Coming out isn’t for everyone, but the more accepting you are about your sexual identity, the greater quality of life you can experience. You don’t have to live a double life any more, you no longer have to lie or hide behind secrets, you can live with less fear and stress, and your self-esteem tends to be higher in most cases. It’s not an easy feat, however—there’s years worth of shame to work through, but for most people the journey is beneficial as they can then live more authentically and truly be themselves. Dating and relationships can be made difficult without a resolution to this, particularly if both men are in different places of the coming-out continuum.
Additionally, it’s important to counter any myths or stereotypes about homosexuality because these can be limiting as well. “All the good ones are taken.” “Gay relationships don’t work.” “All gay men want is sex.” “I have to be a stud to land a man.” “Guys will come to me.” If you believe any of these statements and the many others that exist, recognize these as misinformation that can be confusing and distort reality and work hard at challenging and defeating such negative self-talk so that they don’t get in the way of your goals.