[ continued from yesterday ]
No matter how much you get the urge to break-in should your partner say something that you don’t like, hold it back! It’s not about you right now, it’s about you demonstrating to your man that you care and are invested in understanding life through his frame-of-reference, no matter how different it may be from yours.
Listening is not about agreeing with your boyfriend and doing what he says, it’s about being fully present and gaining clarity into each other’s experience of your relationship.
Be aware of any internal or external factors that could distract you and redirect yourself back to your listening responsibility. Nonverbal communication is integral as well. Make sure you have an open body posture, maintain good eye contact, give affirmative head nods and the occasional “mmm-hmm’s”, etc.
Step 3: LISTEN!
Now it’s time to respond to demonstrate that you really heard your partner’s message and can articulate his thoughts, feelings, needs, and experience non-defensively and without judgment. Speaker goes through a three-step process now to enact this type of scenario. Relationship expert Harville Hendrix developed a technique called Intentional Dialogue to provide a structure for open communication.
The steps involved in this strategy include: