[ continued from yesterday ]
If you have a hard time figuring out what your values are, just look at how you spend your time. This screams volumes in terms of what’s important to you. Or look at your emotional reactions to things as an additional gauge and look below the surface to see what value has potentially been triggered.
Your Values & The Pursuit of A Partner
So what’s this all got to do with dating? Everything! The most successful couples in relationships have shared values. Nothing provides the sustenance and glue to a partnership than values; everything else pales in comparison. You and that guy sitting across from you at the coffee shop may be totally attracted to each other (but he’s SO hot!), but if you don’t have comparable visions or philosophies of life, you’ll be setting yourselves up for tons of conflict and disappointment.
Having knowledge of your values will help you screen potential dating partners much more succinctly than just “winging it.” Knowing what your needs are for a partner and a relationship are expressions of your values and provide the map to finding Mr. Right. If you desire monogamy and he states he only engages in open relationships, this is a values clash and you won’t likely be a good fit as lovers. Or maybe you oppose drug usage and he admits to regular marijuana consumption. Turn away, no matter what your hormones are saying! It’s important to not fall into the trap of thinking you can change another person or that maybe someday they’ll have a change-of-heart.