"I am in a new dating relationship with someone I’m very interested in maintaining. I think he may be my “Mr. Right.” Things started out very well for us in the beginning but over the last several months things have faded. Neither one of us is “out” and I believe I’m the first guy he’s been with. How do I foster and maintain this relationship?"
Dear Holding On:
Conflagrations on finding someone whom you feel a strong connection with! It sounds like you’re very excited by the prospects that abound with this new relationship and are wanting to maintain and grow it in light of a recent sense of decline in interest in your friend’s part. That can be very frustrating, especially when you feel you’ve found someone truly compatible after such a long search!
I wish I had a special formula I could give you that could ensure the continued positive development of your relationship, but chemistry and relationships are more art than science and I can only offer you some tips that might possibly help you stay on track with your goals.
There’s nothing really anyone can do necessarily to “make” someone like them back; attraction is a natural phenomenon and can’t be forced or contrived. The problem in trying to do so is that it increases the likelihood of someone behaving in ways that aren’t true expressions of who he is because he’s too focused on performing and becoming someone he thinks the other guy wants. This is a recipe for disaster and I encourage you to try and take the focus off of what you can do to impress the guy and to just be your genuine self.
Nothing is more sexy than a guy who is authentic, honest, and true to his personality and values.