Over the years, I’ve had slews of couples come through my office with a variety of presenting issues that range anywhere from communication breakdowns, to sexual dysfunctions, to infidelities, to diminished passion, etc. These only name but a few, but the common denominator that appears pervasive throughout most relationship difficulties is a climate of tension, resentment, and mistrust that results when the partners don’t feel acknowledged or honored by each other. This can erode the foundation that the relationship is built upon and jeopardizes the love, closeness, and attachment the couple had developed. Mayday! Mayday! Relationship rescue is now needed!
The interpersonal skill of validation is one technique that can help enrich any relationship and is a great tool for solidifying emotional bonds and fostering more intimacy between loving partners. This article will explore the concept of validation and offer suggestions for incorporating more of it with your partner to promote more heightened “relationship bliss.”
What Is Validation? In the initial stages of dating, it’s not too difficult to validate each other. This “honeymoon phase” of relationship development is depicted by high chemistry, thinking about each other all the time and wanting to devote energy to being with one another. You feel excited and boosted by the other’s attraction for you and attention. It requires very little effort and is usually described as a “magical” feeling. Over time, however, this “spark” tends to diminish and is a normal sign of the maturing of the relationship, not necessarily a signal that something is wrong.