One of the most common concerns that come through my service from gay singles is the difficulty they speak of securing dates with quality and compatible men; and sometimes it’s even just landing a date of any kind! Invitations for sex seem more readily accessible and the frustration and disappointment is the predominant emotion experienced by these relationship-minded singles who have good heads on their shoulders and are ready and available for love, but just can’t seem to find others who mirror their desire for substance and depth in their involvements.
After a series of let-downs, it can really start messing with your sense of optimism and positive outlook. You might begin to feel jaded and develop resentments toward the whole institution of dating and the gay community, questioning whether gay relationships really can work. Worse yet, you might begin turning these attacking feelings against yourself in the form of developing beliefs that there’s something wrong or defective with you in the face of so much perceived rejection.
Ouch! Stop the madness! You cannot allow all the hard work it took for you to develop and grow yourself into the solid man that you’ve become to be tampered with by the inherent challenges of dating.
Continue reading "Gay Relationships: "If I’m So Darned Cute, Why Won’t Anyone Go Out With Me?" - Part One" »
Depression has been called the “common cold” of mental health problems. Estimates are that 20% of the American population may experience depression at some time or other during their lives.
Depression is different than simply having “the blues;” everyone experiences periods of time when they feel like the wind is out of their sails, and that’s not necessarily something to worry about. The blues usually go away after a few days.
Depression has a number of features that are more significant than just feeling a little melancholy. All of those symptoms can impact a relationship. People experiencing depression typically find that there is a change in their appetites: they may eat more (or sometimes lose all interest in food) or they may lose interest in sex. Things that gave them pleasure at one time or another may hold little interest for them.
Depressed people often have less energy for day-to-day activities. There is often a general lack of enthusiasm; they may feel emotionally unavailable. Depression often involves feelings of hopelessness and isolation. If you are the experiencing depression, you may feel discouraged about your relationship and feel like you want to call it quits. Avoid the temptation to talk about separation or divorce when you’re in the grip of these dark thoughts.
Continue reading "Gay Relationships: Dealing With Depression" »
