After you’ve left a relationship, well meaning friends may give advice that likens dating to riding a horse: if you get thrown, the trick is to get back in the saddle again as quickly as possible or you will lose your nerve. This is usually a bad idea.
True, the end of a relationship can leave us feeling like something is missing in our lives. Something has changed; someone has gone and we miss the sense of connection we shared with him. That’s particularly the case for those of us who are “nesters” by nature and who like having someone with whom to share life.
Some of us like being in a relationship so much that we are tempted to start looking for one again almost before the last one has grown cold – more often than not a serious mistake. Moving from one relationship to another without ample emotional recovery time means that we aren’t likely to be emotionally available for a new relationship. Even if we are dating someone who is truly wonderful and who might have good potential for a fulfilling connection, the wrong timing can sabotage the bond from the start.