It started off well. He was so sincere, open and interested. Or at least he seemed that way. He swept you off your feet. He could be so romantic, and his attention was always focused on…you. Maybe you thought, “At last. Someone who really appreciates me and isn’t playing games.” You started to lower your guard and let yourself feel hopeful. Had you found Mr. Right?
Predictably, that’s about the time the game playing was just starting. He’d confess his love for you one weekend, then you wouldn’t hear from him for two weeks. Or after what seemed like a great weekend, you’d find an email in your inbox on Tuesday, breaking up with you. What’s up with all that?
Some men have a problem really getting close to another human being. That sort of intimate encounter requires lowering the guard, and that’s not easy if you’ve spent your entire life keeping your guard up. The best definition of intimacy I’ve ever encountered is that it’s an unarmed encounter between two vulnerable individuals. That’s counter-intuitive for guys who have learned that vulnerability is a bad thing, to be avoided whenever possible.