GAYTWOGETHER

Gay Relationships: Top Reasons Why They Work & Fail - Part One

"Society desperately needs to see healthy gay couples functioning in successful relationships."    Back in the 90’s, I worked at Linden Oaks Hospital, a psychiatric clinic in Naperville, Illinois in their outpatient department providing counseling to all ages and populations.We did a lot of work with couples and used a handout with our clients that taught them about attitudes and ingredients for having healthy intimate relationships.

I still use that handout in my clinical work as it is a great resource in helping couples assess their own relationship functioning, as well as to use it as a guide for developing goals to work on. Linden Oaks is credited for this content, which is outlined below. The word ‘relationships’ is being used instead of ‘marriages’, as was specified in the handout.

While written for a heterosexual audience, we can certainly adapt this information to our gay partnerships as the following content illustrates issues that are universal to all relationship styles. Hopefully you will find it useful as it applies to evaluating your own relationship for maximizing its success.

Gay Relationships: Boyfriends And Your Friends

What happens to your friends when your dating gets serious?

When we’re single, our friends are like family. Friends are our confidants, the people we share our innermost thoughts with, the guys we get together with for a beer on Wednesdays and brunch on Sundays. It’s not unusual for some friends to be in touch several times a day, friendships enrich our lives and keep loneliness at bay.

You might think that friends would also be delighted when your new boyfriend turns into someone very special. Funny how that’s not always the case. If you and your best friend have been the go-everywhere-together guys, it can be disorienting when what you want to do and who you want to do it with shifts significantly. Going out and dancing all night may be less of a priority. And if you’ve been busy all day with work or out of town on business, chances are you’re going to dial up your boyfriend first, not your old buddy.

This is, of course, entirely natural. Healthy individuals with healthy friendships accommodate to these new realities without permanent damage to the friendship. You and your chum may need to talk it through if he’s feeling hurt about having less of your time and attention.

Gay Relationships: Are You Ready To Find Mr. Right?

Sometimes it seems like every single guy in the world is out there trying to find Mr. Right.  (Not everyone, of course; some guys are perfectly happy to be single, and that’s a valid choice.) Frustrated by the search, some men hear advice like this when they complain to friends:  “When you’re really ready, he’ll show up in your life.”  So how do you know when you’re ready?

Here are some signs that you’re not ready for a relationship:

- You imagine that a relationship will raise your low self-esteem;

- You look to a relationship to give your life purpose that it now lacks;

- You have very few healthy, caring relationships of any sort now, and you figure a lover is a good place to start.

Becoming part of a couple doesn’t provide these things; instead, it requires them before you are ready to start the relationship.

You’re also not ready for a partner if you are overwhelmed by unfinished business – especially the business that comes from having recently broken up with someone else.

These rebound relationships are almost always a disaster. If you’ve recently left a relationship, the pull to find a new partner can be strong. Resist the urge. You’ve got work to do first to figure out what there was for you to learn and anything you might do differently next time. You’ve also got emotional work to do: grieving, working through sadness or anger, whatever. It’s as if the first guy has to finish moving out of your heart before there is space for anyone else to move in.

Gay News Headlines: Rights, Relationships, Bullying

 

VIDEO - Two Young Boys' Anti-Bullying Song Brings The Audience To Their Feet.

The duo "Bars and Melod" is made up of Charlie Lenehan and Leondre Devries, two boys who recently went on Britian’s Got Talent and blew the judges away with their sincere and beautiful song about bullying. By the time they were done, the audience was in tears, and the judges were blown away!  Watch their amazing performance and please SHARE so more people can hear their message!

Visit GAYTWOGETHER & Our Friends On YouTube

Spirit Day - Take A Stand Against Bullying!

Today, people everywhere are wearing purple and updating their profile images on Facebook and Titter with a purple twibbon for Spirit Day as a sign of support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth and to speak out against bullying. Our friends at GLAAD have made it easy for you to get involved! To learn more, visit: glaad.org/spiritday --- We have always taken a stand against bullying!  Will you?

Gay News Headlines: Relationships, Bullying, Rights

 

Gay News Headlines: Rights, Bullying, Relationships

Gay News Headlines: Relationships, Bullying, Rights

Gay News Headlines: Rights, Bullying, Relationships